They always marvelled at how small I was. How skinny. How slim my waist. How sharp my cheekbones. How pretty my eyes were.
These were the conversation starters when people walked up to my parents. How tall and beautiful your daughter is. So lovely. So elegant. Giraffe neck. Shy eyes and a heart made for service.
When I returned after one year of College my mother did not recognise me. She stood at the airport with her neck craned and her eyes slid past the person I had become.
After a year of being picked at, misused, unfriended and left raw; the familiarity of my mother’s eyes lighting up as she yelled my name would have salved my wounds.
New conversation starter. They marvelled at how “grown” I was. How my thin thighs had expanded into rounded legs that took fifteen minutes to fit into size 8 jeans I had refused to give up. How pear shaped I was. How full my cheeks. How pretty my eyes. And moved on to ooh and aah at my sisters; their giraffe necks. I kept to flowy skirts and flinched at questions of what had changed my body so much.
When I left for University after summer that year I worked out harder and harder. I ate less. I grew smaller. Taller. And when I returned, my mother said- with love and without malice- You look better.

-International College
Things I didn’t think hurt.



3 Comments Add yours

  1. Esther Amayo says:

    ❤ xx joz tears mate

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg I cannot tell you how much I can relate, though my compliments were different, my body changed and I felt the need to change back (Which I have not achieved). Great writing x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ni_nasieku says:

      Oh my word!! Thank you so much Farai! This means everything! And knowing someone relates to it! God bless you!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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